Don't Play with your Prey!

Lessons from the backyard are hard to take sometimes, in this case we can all learn from the one that got away.  As we negotiate million dollar deals to enable project funding through complex financial structures, bizcat advised me that if you are hungry take the first one offered, dispatch it quickly and fill up right there.

I am working on several projects that are stalled at the gate because when the money was available there was always a reason for not taking the deal. It is clear that no offer is either perfect or eternal, but had I reacted at that time and scooped up the dollars to start the business, the business would be started and providing revenues or losses totally unrelated to the reasons why we did not pursue the money.

Clearly not clinching is the greater sin even though we constantly hear others advising us to be ready to walk away if it does not feel right.  That is the difference from a mouse on the deck and bowl full of cat food.  The mouse means work, the bowl means food, but both mean an end to hunger.

Also the longer the cat plays with his food the better the chance of the meal walking off, so as advised look at the deal from the point of view of not finding reasons to walk away, and accept the fact that there is much good in eating it now.

Never get caught nappin!

How many times have you arrived just too late because you put off taking a key step assuming that you had the time to get it done? Happens more often than you might think.

Lawyers have the right idea, never ask a question to which you do not have the answer, it may trip you up at the worst possible moment. In a high level business meeting, asking your counterpart questions about his company will usually only demonstrate your lack of research, and sometimes your lack of sense.  For example, asking an Italian if the proghetti in his company name comes from the Proghetti family business. He will be forced to stifle a laugh and reply that it means projects, just as in English the name manufactturing at the end of your company name does not come from the Manufacturing family. This happened and it underscores that using research in advance of meetings is crucial.

But what if, as Basil the cat points out, you are caught napping.  How do you go from dead stop to full alert quickly enough to counter you rmistake. In his case a swift claw takes care of many things, in our case deflection works better. And humor of course, instead of looking silly, accentuate to the ridiculous to avert further damage. With the Proghetti situation the senior executive could simply have said that he missed that lesson in his language course, anything but hanging his head and as they say in Holland he stood there with his mouth full of teeth.

Of course, sometimes a catnap is just the thing you need to sharpen up for the next test.

Skunk or Cat?

Recent events in trying to secure financing for a large energy project have uncovered a network of scam artists who all seem to be reading from the same play book. The common thread appears to be their ability to morph into whatever the victim wants them to be. This is important because we have all heard of the unfortunate incident when a neighbor treated a skunk as if it was Basil the cat. Of course the cat was blamed even though he was nowhere near the scene of the stench.

In the business world detecting skunks from cats can be crucial, and in the scam that hit my client it was clear that it might have been avoided. There are companies out there, usually just fronts on the Web, that promise to find your project the money it needs to proceed. They require three things, a copy of your business plan, a signed agreement to use their services and a monthly retainer. Oh, they will dicker and dodge about equity positions, finder's fees and all the rest, but that is irrelevant because what they need is the retainer. Some are modest, the lowest we heard was $5,000 a month, the largest $22,000 a month.

For that comfortable income, they guarantee that they will move heaven and earth to secure the $50 million you need to proceed. Yes, they will send your business plan to a number of hedge funds, and yes they may even make a few long distance calls to Geneva, and yes they might even score an interview. But remember, they are running between 10 and thirty projects just like yours. Twenty times $15,000 is a monthly income of $300,000 for doing very little.

When dealing with these people always ask if they are skunks or cats, and verify everything they tell you.  Dig around that press release announcing the $800 million Saudi Arabian desalination plant, talk to their clients and make sure that your agreement with them allows you an out for fraud.

Credibility

Ever wonder why sometimes business situations get way out of hand? Ever wonder why you are absolutely clear on what you said and what you meant and realize that suddenly they is speaking a foreign language? Ever wonder why a cat will not respond to your commands?

It's pretty simple really, they hear what they want to hear, interpret what you say and react to what they believe you said. The reason is that all conversations are fluid intercourses between entities that have no connection beyond the immediate. In that context it should come as no surprise that so little actually gets done.  Once you are at the writing stage, then movement and speed picks up. Nothing braces a business deal faster than having attorneys around a table drafting contracts. There are no superfluous conversations as they diddle out stock phrases and spout almost religious cant and dogma.

So why is there suddenly credibility where before there was doubt? Because here the words have specific meaning beyond what they usually mean. An indemnity clause is a clear admission that sometimes things go wrong and someone will have to pay.  In a cat's world there are no indemnity clauses because the cat only hears what the cat hears. The real world takes on a whole new threatening mantle where it becomes impossible to hide.

It is not a better world, but a far safer one.